Hello World, this is how I flow.

To begin with, I wrote something prim and proper.

 

But then I thought, Ad People are Brief people, quite literally too.

Whether it's about time, appraisal money, work-life-balance, deadlines, size of copy, duration of an ads impact, the retainers, the project amounts, the size of directors, the eyes for detailing... the Ad people, mostly, are brief in all these respects.

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But yes, when it comes to the one line brief, most of us, are actually quite explanatory. As are we when it comes to our really brief egos. One insecurity and poof! we bear the grudge. We bitch. We snitch. We fish. And at the end of it all, e receive peanuts, sometimes literally during our 3-hr to-and-fro local train journeys, and always when it come to salaries at least till we hit the Senior-Senior levels.

 

So yeah, now that I've expressed enough disparagement of this institution called advertising, let me tell you why I'm still committed to it. 

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It's because the fact that I'm a Hindi writer was unleashed upon me like an epiphany when I started to write ads. 

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Even though, I had years of training as a writer of English, the words, thoughts, feelings all came out in the right proportions and with adequate weight when I wrote in Hindi. 

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I was surprised. I struggled with the truth of it. After all, English was the language of power. I was superb at it. I still am. But what was it that was compelling me to write in Hindi, to enjoy the process of thinking and writing in Hindi much more than in English.

 

I did not know then that advertising also has a stereotyping approach to the people who create it. Much like Bollywood. I did not know that if people see you writing really well in Hindi, they wouldn't give you the chance to write in English even though you were better than a whole host of writers around you. I did not know that in Indian advertising everything happened by who you liked and who you did not... as opposed to whose craft, work & never-say die approach you liked.

 

This hurt me mentally. Because I found it very short-sighted. "Mera Aadmi" -- this very phrase made me realise that ad agencies and the people who commanded big spots in them, were quite feudal. It was just India. Just like the hinterlands of Bihar. And it still is. The people from privileged background, with stable families, looking outwards and beyond India, mostly people with land and property in non-mumbai areas rand the show with a feudal approach while they were selling capitalist views, consumerism under capitalism and products made in industries that depended on capital. The feudal class was in control of modern India's advertising prowess. Exactly the kind of contradictory power that ran the country.

 

The gap between the writer and the art-director was chasmic. It still is.

 

But I struggled with al these awarenesses, while creating work that worked. Seldom getting credits. Being the kind of person I am, I would talk openly, argue, question... be labelled quite erroneously, "balk-talker." It made me laugh and only providence knows how many times I've had to clench my fists in order not to laugh right on the face of the person calling me a "back talker." But on a serious note, this is the kind of approach that stymies, eliminates and buries real talent, converting them into yes men and yes women.

 

I don't do this.

 

So if you want to hire me, know that I would ask questions and have not an opinion, but a well-formed theory and argument if I'd 100% sure that the strategy is wrong... or that a much more senior person is asking us to present films with a really bad landing line in a pitch.

 

I've been berated for speak in the middle of client meeting because I realised that someone had gone totally under-confident and was blabbering all over the place. I intervened because everyone else for 5 minutes was just stuck in indecision. I don't like indecision. I hate it. Indecision is the one thing that leads to failure and waste of opportunities. So yes, I waded in. Got into colour theory, related it with semiotics and the brand's grammar ion how it was trying to relate afresh to the consumer... basically did everything I could to get all the clients present to stop looking out of the window and get back to hearing our presentation. I asked the Senior to take the floor after 5 minutes... He and other senior joined in. And it worked, we went to the second round. 

 

But then, later on, someone felt insecure. Someone told me they needed people like me. Someone said you should be careful. I stopped listening after that. It was fuck all human behaviour. I don't understand why people are so interested in talking about other people. Is that the reason why Indian ads are so mediocre today? Alec Padamsee would work during the daytime and evening, and then from evening to night, he's do theatre. Rehearse, practice, pace up and down the proscenium, have fun with the other players in his group. Alok Nanda was the same I hear. Some other greats has other passions. they talked about those things after their work.

 

So yeah, I think focussed people make great work, great advertising, great art or sports. And those who're unfocused in their work, and more interested in creating a culture of insecurity and fear, are the one wo bring everything down.

 

I don't know about anything else, but any writer or art director, position-wise junior to me has never said anything except how I've sat with him and tried to improve him. How I have desisted him from leaving early when he's pissd off with not being able to crack something. How I've gone to some small, little cafe or a McD's and taken a corner and cracked an idea with him.

 

None of this has ever been appreciated because everyone wants readymade weight-bearers in the profession. No one is ready to stitch talent with the thread of time.

 

Yaar, dhaagon ke bina, koi bhi judi hui cheez, kuchh watt ke baad bikhar jaati hai. No wonder, attrition ka rate itna high hai ki lagta hai ad mein kaam karne wale youngsters insaan se zyaada, kangaroo hain. Yahaan ek punch mara, wahaan ek maara, idhar kuchh khaaya, udhar kuchh bajaya... aur bas... Poing! Poing! Poing! Another place. Another time. Decentered. Destabilised. Disheartened.

 

Bumbai ki advertising industry ki galiyon se hokar behne mein bahut Himmat, samvedna, svehensheelta aur dheeraj lagta hai. Aur lagta hai ek uddeshya... ki main jo trutiyaan khatam kar sakoon, wow sahi waqt name pe khatam karunga... aur uske liye, sabe pehle, behtar se behtar, meaningful, effective kaam karunga... aisa kaam jo client ko charcha mein laaye... and ek khoobsoorati se bune hue khinchaaw ke saath, desh ke, logon ke dilon-dimaag mein chhaa jaaye, bas jaaye. Jisko, sab relatable, memorable, viral, etc. etc. type ke name se pukarte hain. 

 

Baaki, main ek autistic lady hoon. saath mein, ADHD bhi hai. Yeh janmmjaat hain. Inka koi ilaaj nahi. CNS stimulant compounds ke saath main roz kaam karta hoon. Par jab main ek idea ke peechhe padta hoon, ya ek film ke, ya ek line ke, ya phir jab main camera ke through dekhta hood aur kuchh frame karat hoon... toh main hyperfocus mode mein chala jaata hoon. Ye main koi random bak-bak nahin kar raha. Medically, psychologically proven hai mere case mein. Choonki mujhe likhna aur shoot karna, direct karna itna bhaata hai, mujhe wo kaam nahin, ek zaroorat lag hai. It becomes an essential thing that I need to do really well. Isiliye, main apne projects pe... ya agar kiss ne mujhe unka project handle Karne Diya... toh full control leke, ek se ek, chhoti-se-chhoti detailing ko perfectly execute karawake hi main dum leta hoon.

 

Bahut logon ko us want lagta hai ki main unto ignore kar raha hoon. Kyunki woh ho jaata hai. Par main aur kiss tareeke se, woh kaam jo essential thing ban chula hai, usko nahi kar skate... kyunki usmein mere passion ke saath-saath mer integrity bhi shaamil hai... aur saath hi saath, meri honest creative identity bhi... jisse main bhaag nahin skate. Honesty ek glue hai jo mere project ka dhakkan khulte hi, mere damage, dil, root, anxieties and astute controlling capacity ko ek saath le anti hai tab tak ke like, jab tak project khatam na ho jaaye.  

 

Meri koi family hai nahin, kyunki main unse cut ho chuka hoon. Meri puraani family ek bahut hi violent, disturbing, dysfunctional, unsuccessful group of logon se bani thhi. Unhein khud ko roordhiwadi vichaaron ke liye khud ko samajik, niji aur professional tour pe destroy karne mein koi issue nahi hoti thhi. Aaj bhi ways hi hai. Par main nuke jaisa nahin hoon. Khud ke oopar bahut kaam karne, padh ke, khud ko tattoo ke, duniya mein logon ko gaur se deka ke, such-samajh ke, maine kindness aur honesty ka rasta chuna. Par kuchh samay pehle meri ex-family ne mujhe jhinjhodne ki poori koshish ki. Bumbai aakar, mujhe tara-tarah ke emotional pressure mein daalkar. Par mere jehen ka loha mazboot ban chula thha isiliye bachpan, aur ladakpan ke waqt ki tarah, main bikharne ke bajaaye, khud ko aur sametne laga. On the medical order of my long-standing psychiatrist, one of the best in the india who works with create people, who also functions as my co-counsellor, I excommunicated myself and severe all relations with the people who gave birth to me and who called me brother. Because, for them, my writer's identity is just a job. And I'm sure, all you guys have understood that it just isn't so for me.

 

I choose to talk about this here because I need you t know who I am as a person if you think I'm worthy enough to work with you and to be trusted. And a person, who hides his true identity from people he creates with, will never able able to come out of the shadow of proving to be whatever is supposed called "normal." So yeah, I'm not normal. I'm an anomaly. I'm a writer. I have talent with direction. I'm hands on and can solve problems of sets if I'm allowed to. And I have. When a lighting failed on set, I solved it. when a prop failed on set and the clients clamoured, I was asked to step in. I solved the issue and the clients were very happy. I cracked an idea in the loo... thought films on it... but someone else's film were thought as a safe bet... we didn't have a landing line and I told my senior about it... in the car, he berated me, telling me that I shouldn't point things out if I didn't have an alternative solution. You see! Insecurity. I cracked the landing line in the next 5 minutes. It got approved. And in car, and then at the client's, while waiting for our turn, I wrote the films in consonance with the landing line. Everyone patted my back. I was taken in a Merc and nice things were spoken to me. I was given my steps of growth in writing... something I could've never expected. I really believed it. I kept it with me, framed in a small box.

 

But then, when it came to the mergers, none of this mattered. it didn't matter that I sat till 2am, and cracked a big platform idea for CaratLane... for the launch of its Engagement Collection when everyone else was in some farewell, hoping a pub... it didn't matter that the client swooned on the idea and approved it instantly...

 

I was the one who was asked to leave... and the Seniors who didn't care enough about keeping the CaratLane with the agency... who were having fun with their chums... they were given a promotion...

 

I was asked by me senior to fight for getting a good music director... it was for a project that had been delayed... client was super angry, and lambasted one and all... I was taken on the project at the last minute... it took me 1 day after the briefing day t crack the film... I got a superb music director... My senior supported me them... even on mail... I went against the managing director... the film stood on its sound and music... in one month footfalls increase by 800%... the client showered us with encomiums... But when it came to retaking me, I was put in front of the managing director... alone... I was simply told... "I can't save you..." I just couldn't understand... What was the need of saying that...!

 

The reason, I'd had 2 tumour operations... 2nd one took time to heal... I kept coming to office, albeit late... but in that very period I cracked the whole platform idea... I collaborated with people... I shot an agency promotion film... that the senior had thought... I shot professional profiles of my Seniors and the MD and someone else... I even shot a professional photograp for a Loreal Product ad... No one paid me for it...

 

So yeah, I've understood that hardly anyone cares... about being good... so how would they care about, doing good work...? About doing good mentally and physically themselves or ensuring that their workers are doing good mentally or workwise...? Chalta hai...! Chalega...! Are Udaa De Na...! I'm sure all of you are familiar with there exclamation that define the normalcy of our workplaces. Somehow, I've managed to survive with my integrity intact. And with my hope alive too. Maybe that's what matters the most because the hopeless can only do, achieve and envision, for themselves and their teams and communities, less. 

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Jiska charitra waastav mein achha hota hai,

(polite aur diplomatic nahin, achha... fark hai),

Usi ka kaam... waastav mein achha hota hai.

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Mujhe lagta hai mera kaam achha hai. Agar aapko bhi aisa lagta toh main aapke saath kaam karna chaahunga. Aur achhe se aagey badh ke, ab main behtar kaam karna chaahunga... Better Work...

 

Aur agar aapko lagta hai ki main galat hoon, aur mera kaam kharaab hai, toh please bataaiye ki kya kharaab hai... Criticism se main main door nahin bhaagta... apni life a khans hissa, college wala, university wala, criticism ki value seekhne mein lagaaya hai Maine... toh aapki baat pe sochunga zaroor.

 

Barhaal... mujhe kaam dena hai, toh mujhe 9967604681 pe call keejiye.

 

Agar kisi kaaran se main call na uttha paaoon, toh please ek WhatsApp message bhej deejiye. Main waapas aapko, call aur message karunga.

 

Agar kisi kaaranwash, aapko mera yeh lekh galat, kharaab ya unuchit laga hai, toh wo bhi bataaiye.

 

Bouquets and brickbats are equally welcome.

 

Ab ijaazat deejiye. Shabba Khair. Alwida.