Hello World, this is how I flow.

Name: InkThink
Address: IN
Telephone: 9967604681

Not a Rubber Stamp

of Propriety.

I Do My thing,

Even If I Get Notoriety.

To begin with, I wrote something prim and proper. But then I scrapped it all.

Hum waise bhi kaun se cohesive wholes hain...? Kam se kam, main toh nahin.

Isiliye, neeche, kuchh tukkde rakh raha hoon apne, jinmein aap dekh sakte hain mere toote-foote wajood ki jhalak... scratched, ubad-khaabad si meri life ki alag-alag parat... Saath hi, halki si mere soch ki khushbu, ya agar pasand na aaye, toh badbù... aur kuchh tukde, mere tutti-frutti like nature ke... meri zidd, mere beliefs ke swaad ke... kuchh barbaad, kuchh aabaad se...

Baap Re! Briefs Hi Briefs,

One crawls, another creeps.

I thought, Ad People like briefs. Many a times, as people, they are brief, truncated emotionally, rushed with a brief amount of time to either laugh or cry, to assess whether one wants to live or to die. Appraisals, work-life-balance, deadlines, size of copy, duration of an ads impact, the retainers, the project amounts, the size of directors, the eye for detail... dousing insecurities with purchase of a Mini Cooper that doesn't even have a tail... all truncated... brief... cut down to size. Such is today's ad life.

But we aren't brief when it comes to our egos. We make bubbles that die in 30-second in the interval of a cinema hall... and have a sense of self that would put to shame the simplicity of a Neeraj Ghaywan. This once a generation filmmaker could learn from us how to blow-up, how to slight, how to bitch and grudge and hate others' guts as we undertake 3-hr to-and-fro journeys to our offices every day.

Does this seem disparaging? Good. Because it is. And that's why it becomes rather interesting to know why I do it, why I'm still committed to it, why I have fun doing it.

2.Toh Karta Kyun Hai Phir,

Chhod De na...!

Till I wrote my first ad, I didn't know that for all my education in English over 10 years, for all my missionary school education, I was a writer not in that acquired language of power (technical linguistic term for this being, Second Language Acquisition), but in the language I had been taught to look down upon. I was a Hindi writer because I loved writing in Hindi, and could make meaning in it that far more potent than when was speaking with a neutral BBC accent that I had to cultivate by watching BBC News and reading The Hindu, every day. What's funny is that The Hindu, came a day and a half late, every evening, and inspite of that, I read it from cover to cover. I even enunciated whole editorial pages, dropping the Bihariness from my speech, removing the feel of the roads and nalas and marketplaces and poverty and even my Bihari smile.

All of this, hit me in a dust-spattered, choona-dripping, mouse-ridden Bombay tenement that stood over a grain godown 50 metres from Kandivali station. It came as an epiphany, but only when I started to write a few ads.

Even though, I had years of training as a writer of English, the words, thoughts, feelings all came out in Hindi in the right proportion and with adequate weight. I surprised myself many a times. My feelings about me, my disaster of a family, my friendships, loneliness, being in Mumbai, all of it now fell through the 'chashma,' the transparent fountain wall of my being. I was I for first time, not pretending to myself, not pretending to those around me. I was fine if inspite of having an elite education & speech pattern, I was tossed around like a commoner. It was freeing. The pressure of pretensions over thirty years on may life as kid, teenager, and the start-up adult, were no more.

Sometimes, I struggled too with the truth of it. Then I slept. When I woke up, many a times I wrote poems or a short story. Always in Hindi, never in English.

Andhiyaare Mein Yaar,

Lalten Lagta Hai...

Chhoti Si Ek Lapat Se,

Har Mashaal Jalta Hai.

It was during this time that I was guided and mentored for a few months by a really 'Saral,' really 'shaleen,' man called Srijan Skukla at DDB. I was ignorant about advertising. I was reading books to figure out what the westerners said advertising was. But there always seemed a gap between the fancy books, and what we cooked till late at night.

Srijan plugged that gap and took me into the depths of Indian writing, the culture of Indian advertising, Indian insights and ideas worth chasing. He was a 'pyaau,' I was the pyaali. I gulped, held, caught, soaked everything he threw at me.

I cracked my first radio spot on the first day after he briefed me. I showed it to him in the afternoon and he approved it immediately because he really enjoyed it. He sat with me and helped me create a shorter version. Told other Seniors, who I was quite wary of, that I'd written something quite fantastic. They all heard it. Asked me to repeat read it 2-3 times. Patted my back and said, we'd present it t the client. Once this was done, I was clueless about what to do next.

Srijan sat me down and involved me in the two other radio spots in the series of 3, he was creating... or that now we were creating. I realised for the first time that writers' collaborated too. I was scared of what to say, what not to say when he asked me about what to write next and how to enhance the humour of the radio spots. I hesitated. He noticed it immediately and in his inimitable, 'bebaak,' feet-on-table, arched back on chair style, took it upon himself to clear my head about the role, identity, power and responsibility of a writer.

He insisted,

"Arey bolo. Isi ke toh paise milte hain. Kya likhein hum log...?

Ye likhein... nahin yaar... ya yeh...

Sahi, yeh Sahi hai, kya bolte ho...

Ye toh mast nikla hai... Bol ke dekho...

bolne se pata chalta hai ki feel kaisi hai...

ki humour sahi nikal raha hai ya flat hai...?

Radio spot aur film ke dialogues, hamesha, bol-bol ke likhna...

Toh, yeh theek lag raha hai na... match ho raha hai, barabar...

chalo isko abhi fix karate hain, 3rd wale pe aate hain...

Phir sutta break lenge... use baad phir baithte hain...!"

When we sat down again, after around, one and a half hours, he painted the picture of a writer for me. He said,

"Jis bhi cheez pe kaam karo, aise karo ki usko apna bana lo.

Ye nahin, ki bas, jo maine kaha uski chatni bana ke

sanwich pe laga diya aur le aaye, ki maine aapka idea likh diya.

Arey mera idea likh diya, toh Tumne kya kiya?

Tumhara time kismein laga?

Likhne mein toh nahin, kyunki tumne toh sirf mera idea

jitna main soch sakta thha, wahi likha...! Tumne toh phir bas type kiya na? Writer ka kaam kya hai?

Type toh koi bhi kar salta hai, use liye writer ki kya zaroorat?

Salim-jaawed jab script likhte the, toh room mein ek typist bhi hota thha...

Woh sochte hue linein zubaani likhte thhe, kaat-te thhe,

dobara-tibara likhte thhe... Aur typist sahab,

sab kuch suna hua, type karte rehte thhe. Kyun?

Kyunki wo writer nahin thhe. Bahut zaroori hai yeh samajhna.

Tum tez ho, isiliye pehle din se seekh lo.

"Hona kya chaahiye, ki jab main wo idea padhun,

jispe dono ne saath kaam kiya hai... toh Bhaisaab,

mujhe tumhari likhayi ke kaaran story mein ek nayi jaan,

ek nayi energy, ek naya ghumaav dikhna chaahiye...

Tumhaari storytelling ke kaaran characters, unke action-reaction,

gestures ki nayi baareekiyaan dikhni chaahiye...

woh jo idea sochtey waqt, mere zehen mein aaya nahin thha...

Tum jo likho, jo socho, usko main mazboot karoon,

main jo sochoon, likhoon, usko tum mazboot karo, as a writer...

"Writer aur typewriter ke beech ka fark bas itna hai... haan ji?

...Ki Writer apne kalam se, apni soch se kahaani mein

ek nayi life bharta hai, chaahe idea kahin se bhi aaye, kisi ka bhi ho...

aur typewriter, usko jo milta hai, jaisa milta hai,

hoo-ba-hoo, waise ka waisa, bas chhaap deta hai,

9-to-5 karta hai, aur tata-bye-bye kar deta hai.

Bahut milenge tumko, typewriters idhar...

par tum meri team mein ho, aur mujhe writer chaahiye...

Dhyan rahe, kal ko kahin bhi jaao, kahin bhi kaam karo,

Writer ho, writer hi rehna... Ek yehi cheez hai jo badlegi nahin...

baaki sab badal jaayega..."

Such is my genesis. And I'm still really thrilled about it. Years have gone by, but I still pay heed to these and many other things Srijan taught me in 6-7 months that he was there at DDB, after I joined.

He was so instrumental in my development, and in the confidence he built in me, that I've stayed that way, calling things exactly what they are, being defiant, being the lone voice in a roomful of sycophantic camaraderie... It has helped me hone myself as a person... it has helped me hone my craft... In moments, where I've felt the doldrums because of the myriad disastrous ways in which strange people lead teams strangely, do strange things that hurt strangely, making you feel you should quit, cut and run... in such moments, my learnings under Srijan have helped me look at my foundation again, at its unshakable ethos, at its belief in creative integrity and at the possibility of good work and good fun that could come from being me... from doing the right thing, and not end up as a people-pleaser who compromises with those who love compromising.

Battar pe lete hain zamaano se,

Behtar pe nahin baith sakte kya...?

You know, many a times, ad agencies emerge as a microcosm of our country. As a scaled model of the hinterlands of Bihar. How you ask...? Well, when people from privileged backgrounds, with stable families, looking outwards and beyond India, mostly people with land and property in non-Mumbai areas run the show in agencies, thinking of it as their fiefdoms, dealing with people and decision-making with a feudal approach while selling capitalist desire, capitalist views, consumerism and products made in capital-dependent industries, it makes for a crony-economy, for crony-capitalism... Isn't that a mirror to our nation now? And that exacerbates the gaps between people, communities, professions, and haves and have-nots. Does the gap in the treatment meted out to the cabal of writers and senior writers, and the art-directors, ring a bell...? Does the lesser participation of art directors during ideation ring a bell...?

I struggle with such awarenesses, while creating work that has worked for clients.

I struggle with practices that condone people when an intern's idea is taken and made into a film whose credit is shared by two seniors with 15+ years of experience. I struggle with the reality of taunts and leg-lulling being in free-flow to make you feel disempowered enough to not question the taking away of your credits when a film you thought of and wrote entirely on your own was credited to someone who saw your drafts and went to the shoot. I struggle with the maiming of writers' camraderie, with false competition being put between writers who should be helping each-other grow, become better. Just like Fast bowlers, who learn and hone their craft in pairs, and then hunt in pairs. We love cricket so much in the advertising world. Why can't we learn this from it? Why do web want yes-men and yes-women during pitch preparations? You can't win matches single-handedly? You need the questioners, the so called "back-talkers," the trend-breakers.

This is who I am? Along with my writing and visual imagination as my core, my question mind always keeps coming to the fore. I question myself too. Descartes I think therefore I am simply means I doubt, I ask, I'm not satisfied easily. I need convincing. Before building a conviction, I need thorough research. Rethinking a though 100 different ways let's us see if it will stand scrutiny by 100 eyes, 100 perspectives, 100 similarities and 100 differences.

Yes, this is who I am. And if you like this person, if you think that my approach has real, inherent merit, I'd love to work with you. If not, adieu.

Security... Security,

Kahaan Gaayab Ho Jaate Ho Yaar?

Paas Raho... Taaki Bana Rahe Aitbaar...!

I've been berated for speaking in the middle of client meeting because I realised that someone had gone totally under-confident and was fumbling all over the place. I intervened because everyone else was stuck in indecision. I don't like indecision. Indecision is the one thing that leads to wasting opportunities.

So yes, I waded in. Got into colour theory, related it with semiotics and the brand's grammar on how it was trying to relate afresh to the consumer... basically did everything I could in that moment to get all the clients to stop looking out of the window or at their Instagrams and refocus, with alert cats' ears, on our presentation. I gave the to the speaker after a few minutes, when we had regained the clients' interest... He finished, others joined in. It worked, we went to the second round.

But then, later on, someone felt insecure. Thwarted. Someone told me they needed people like me. Someone said you should be careful. Someone said you shouldn't meddle. If the presentation goes south, it goes south. Someone said I should never forget the adages, Save Your Own Skin & Thrown under the bus. Because these adages do come true every now and then in our profession.

It was too much. People had so much time, analysing and taking about someone else. I stopped listening after that. I felt tired... as tired as I feel watching reams and reams of mediocre Indian ads playing on digital platforms today.

Bade Log, asal mein

Roz Badaa Joojhte Hain.

Jo aap nahi samajhte,

Bade log, wo boojhte hain...!

I'd met Alec Padamsee at NCPA on 3 occasions. He used to do a brilliant production of Arthur Miller's "Death of a Salesman." He came to know I was working at Lintas on a brand he helped shape, Surf. He was kind. He spoke to me backstage, talked about the production and his time in advertising.

He would work during the daytime and evening, and then from evening to night, he's do theatre. Rehearse, practice, pace up and down the proscenium, have fun with the other players in his group. Then go back home. Be back in office at 11.00 am in the morning. Sometimes, a bit later. He would do this 5 days a week. And on Saturday & Sunday, he would devote himself to theatre exclusively. He did this from an early age till he retired. And for the era he was in, he made work, that worked, that became famous. He fought on Strat and creative both, without the fear of being asked to look for another place to work. And he never made his juniors feel that fear either. In his time, Lintas became a beacon. And good stuff followed even after he retired. People were not scared of voicing their thoughts in that agency then. He not only created ads, he created people. Creating people and doing pinpointed focussed work, he told me, was his true legacy because only the people one creates, carry forward your values after adding their own flavour to it. And that is what creates, he remarked, institutions of creative advertising ruled by focus, fun and no favouritism.

ADHD. Autism. Hyperfocus.

So yeah, I think focussed people make great work, great advertising, great art, great food or great sports. For that you have to be in the circus around you, but not be a part of it. You have to be a part of you, targeting a hit at the joy of creating something fun, something that attracts like voodoo.

I'm blessed with the ability to focus. Not because I'm good at it, but because it's compulsive to me. From childhood till now, if I like a thing that I'm doing, I just start doing nit and keep doing it till I run exhausted. Then, I wake the up the next day and try to do it again. And again. It's called PINCH, medically. You could have a look at it in one of the better mental health journals online.

My ADHD, exacerbated by my autism, lets me focus infinitesimally on things I love, like and find challenging. I just don't give up.

Iss janmmjaat attribute ke saath, jab main ek idea ke peechhe padta hoon, ya ek film ke, ya ek line ke, ya phir jab main camera ke through dekhta hoon aur kuchh frame karta hoon... toh main hyperfocus ke saath kaam karta hoon.

Whatever I like and find engaging becomes an essential thing, an obsession that I need to do P-E-R-F-E-C-T-L-Y...!

Isiliye, main apne projects pe... ya agar kiss ne mujhe unka koi badhiya, challenging project handle karne diya... toh main full control leke, apna samajh ke, ek se ek, chhoti-se-chhoti detailing ko perfectly execute karawake... usse, uske anjaam tak le jaata hoon.

Kehte hain, perfection mein Bhagwaan basta hai. Main Bhagwaan mein nahin maanta, par itna jaanta ki perfection mein hi aap apne kaam se ru-ba-ru hote hain... perfection ko achieve karne ki chaah mein hi, aap khud ko, khud ki sarhadon ko tatolte hain, kholte hain, unka daayra bada karke, khud mein mumkin shabd ka sajeev arth khojte hain... warna toh, aaye din, log aiwayi, kuchh bhi karke, aaraam se hi sote hain.

Choohon ki Katri Hui

Til-katri hoon,

Main Hinsa ki Thaali mein

Parosi hui, beadabi hoon...

Meri koi family hai nahin, kyunki main unse cut ho chuka hoon. Meri puraani family ek bahut hi violent, disturbing, dysfunctional, unsuccessful group of logon se bani thhi. Unhein khud ko roordhiwadi vichaaron ke liye khud ko samajik, niji aur professional tour pe destroy karne mein koi issue nahi hoti thhi. Aaj bhi ways hi hai. Par main nuke jaisa nahin hoon. Khud ke oopar bahut kaam karne, padh ke, khud ko tattoo ke, duniya mein logon ko gaur se deka ke, such-samajh ke, maine kindness aur honesty ka rasta chuna. Par kuchh samay pehle meri ex-family ne mujhe jhinjhodne ki poori koshish ki. Bumbai aakar, mujhe tara-tarah ke emotional pressure mein daalkar. Par mere jehen ka loha mazboot ban chula thha isiliye bachpan, aur ladakpan ke waqt ki tarah, main bikharne ke bajaaye, khud ko aur sametne laga. On the medical order of my long-standing psychiatrist, one of the best in the india who works with create people, who also functions as my co-counsellor, I excommunicated myself and severe all relations with the people who gave birth to me and who called me brother. Because, for them, my writer's identity is just a job. And I'm sure, all you guys have understood that it just isn't so for me.

I choose to talk about this here because I need you to know who I am as a person

if you think I'm worthy enough to work with you and to be trusted. And a person, who hides his true identity from people he creates with, will never able able to come out of the shadow of proving to be whatever is supposed called "normal."

So yeah, I'm not normal. I'm an anomaly. I'm a writer. I have talent with direction. I'm hands on and can solve problems of sets if I'm asked to. I can tell you all about such instances.

I welcome Bouquets and brickbats equally. Those who put themselves out in the world risk that.

Kya Kehte Ho Phir...?

So whether it is one or the other, throw it my way. I'm glad that at least you read this pieces of writing. Not many read today, anyway. Not even comic strips, that is. I'm available at 9967604681 on both phone calls and WhatsApp... and on ayush.eflu@gmail.com for mail, and at @https://www.instagram.com/bol_ke_lab/

I'm looking to work with people who believe in my prowess and potential, who are good at heart and focussed in their approach.

So give me a ping... or a call... I'll come over with my folio to your agency or company... looking to do even better work than what I've already done... Because I know, I want to reach higher every day, every week, every month, every year... Only then, the mirror will hug me, kiss me back and continue to be my friend.